A Strange Adventure I: Random Chaos
by NocturneD
Summary: Buster goes to San Andreas, Arthur and DW find out who their real father is, Brain has amnesia, and Grandma Thora thinks she's a ninja. Chapter 5 final chapter is up!
1. ch1

Strange Adventure!

By NocturneD/WINGZ

Note: My reason for making this story is just an experiment and while watching the PBS show called Arthur and Postcards from Buster, I found them very entertaining even if it is a kid's shows and thought it deserves to be kicked up a little with some Family Guy style comedy. Now, really some of you will find this either hilarious or terrible. I've read a few stories from the Arthur section and some of them are pretty funny but others are like random, then others are still childish as the show was meant to be most of the time.

It was like any ordinary day in Elwood City, the sun was shining, and the wind was blowing slightly like a perfect spring day. Unfortunately, it was Monday meaning a school day for Arthur and his friends. For some reason, this day wasn't like the others not meaning like Mr. Ratburn their rat faced teacher was absent, but more likely it had to do with Mr. Ratburn after all. The children were already in their seats talking of what they did over the weekend, their teacher Mr. Ratburn was running a little late.

Binky, the huge kid with an ass-shaped head with a face on it thought it would be funny to throw something at Arthur. The big kid dug through his desk to find something but could really find anything decent to throw looking for something big. Binky tried to think but it made his head hurt too much, immediately he was interrupted by the door opening and shutting. There was Mr. Ratburn walking into class with his briefcase acting casual, the children's mouths were open wide to see something different about their teacher as he is showing a little more skin than usual.

"Did Mr. Ratburn get a haircut or something?" Buster whispered to Arthur.

"No. I think it's something else… he's a…" Arthur tried to whisper but was interrupted by Mr. Ratburn trying to make an announcement.

"Children, if I could get your attention please. I would like to explain what would be going on from now on, as you see there is something different about me. As you notice I am indeed wearing no clothes at all. Yes, I am now a nudist." Mr. Ratburn explained, the kids still were stunned.

"Man. This is more shocking when I first saw Arthur's mom naked in the shower and I had my video camera with me at the moment." Buster replied, not noticing Arthur was right next to him with an angry look on his face.

"Buster!" Arthur exclaimed. "When the hell did you do that?"

"Relax Arthur it wasn't like I put it up on the internet." Buster defended himself.

Flashback

Buster was in his room, making sure that no one else would come into his room while he was busy doing something with his video camera. He locked his door and sat at his computer, plugging his camera into computer system. Working by uploading whatever he captured on his camera onto the internet and typed in "See Footage of My Best Friend's Mother Naked!"

End of Flashback

"Oh…" Buster reminded himself.

"Oh dang, I dropped the chalk. Let me just bend over and pick it up." Mr. Ratburn explained while he bent down to retrieve the piece of chalk, the children were still stunned by this while George, the moose child turned his head slightly to vomit onto the floor.

"Don't look directly into it!" Buster shouted.

Three hours later…

It was lunch time as the children started to get their daily school meal. Nothing was any different in lunch period until Mr. Ratburn decided to come into the cafeteria to be an aid and watch over the children. After Arthur and best friend Buster started eating Mr. Ratburn started to walk around the room to monitor the kids as they eat, some of the kids tried to ignore the nudist teacher while others didn't feel like eating anymore. Arthur and Buster picked up their trays and threw whatever was left into the trash can and left for recess.

"Hey Arthur, I have to drain the lizard…" Busted said leaving to the boy's restroom.

"Yeah I got to go too." Arthur replied.

Upon entering the restroom, the two walk directly to the urinals spacing in between each other. The two started to do their business until hearing something inhuman coming from the stall behind them, sounds a lot like grunting and groaning… and farting…

"Oh… I knew I shouldn't have had that burrito last night." Groaned a familiar voice.

"Binky?" The two friends asked in unison.

"Who's there? If that's anyone out there I'll pound you if you say anything about this!" Binky warned them followed by a groan.

"You give birth to a cow in there?" Buster asked.

"No… It just won't come out!" Binky groaned followed by a huge fart.

"Binky how about a courtesy flush?" Arthur asked.

"Up yours!" Binky groaned then farted again.

"Maybe you're constipated? Or just forgot how to crap?" Buster asked.

Arthur and Buster thought it was funny to see a big kid like Binky in a fight he just can't win with his bowels. Quickly it became so smelly in the bathroom there wasn't even enough room to breath or even laugh.

"Man we better get back to class or the nudist will come after us." Buster managed to say still laughing.

The two went back to class leaving the huge kid fighting off his bowel problems by himself while still laughing still a little cautious about Mr. Ratburn or the nudist they would call him from now on. Buster stopped suddenly and forgot to tell his best-friend…

"Arthur, you know I do a lot of traveling right?" Buster asked.

"Yeah." Arthur replied.

"Well, I forgot by tonight I will be leaving to some place called San Andreas to visit my uncle Johnny" Buster explained.

"Never heard of the place and it's a drag you're leaving again." Arthur sighed. "Isn't he the uncle that doesn't do anything and has no job? Plus he never cleans up after himself and lives on welfare?"

"Yeah that's the one!" Buster replied. "Good old uncle Johnny, though his house is a mess it's still so fun to go over there!"

"Remember the last time you went and came back with stitches because you cut yourself on a broken beer bottle at his house?" Arthur asked.

To be continued…

Note: Okay, that's where it ends so far. I don't really plan on making the next chapters right away but next time I'm all hoped up on sugar I'll think about it like I did with this chapter. Now, as a writer I do respect Mark Brown's books as I still read them to my little brother before he goes to sleep at night, I really hope this story won't offend anyone… Hell I might even delete this probably in a month if it doesn't get too much attention just hope there is someone out there that would enjoy this.


	2. ch2

A Strange Adventure

By NocturneD III a.k.a. WINGZ

_Note: Thank you both Strickland Propane and Dead Composer for reviewing this rather crude story, glad you guys liked it or one of you I can't really tell with DC's but I do agree with you. It's a little cruel but that's how I write my comedy half of the time plus it's kind of hard to make fun of a kid's show without stating the obvious and what you think about the characters. I try to keep everything with the teen rating but notice I don't go into extreme detail like describing what Mr. Ratburn's body looks like so if I did then it would pump it up to mature in what I'm not really aiming for. My definition of crude is going into extreme detail._

_I really like to use Family Guy and Futurama kind of comedy so if anyone finds the comedy of not what he or she like then you don't have to read the story anymore, I'm not forcing you to read it but really I like to write and for the fun of it._

_Rated: PG-13 (Some violence, some adult language, overuse of flashbacks)_

As the day dragged on like any other day, the children were in their seats trying to complete the in class assignment by their teacher; Mr. Ratburn who became a nudist as of this day. Buster gave his notice to Mr. Ratburn that he won't be in for the rest of the week, and as meek as Mr. Ratburn is, he gave the rabbit boy the assignments he would be missing out on. With the stunned looks on his face, yes Mr. Ratburn is the same with giving long assignments, the rabbit boy sighed looking at the page of assignments the rat has written down for him.

With the last few minutes of class the children paid attention to the clock to strike three o clock, Arthur really wanted to leave as with Buster had to go straight home to meet his father then travel to the airport with him, the Brain as quick as he can finished the last page of his in class assignment making more free time for himself to play his new video game he just bought, Francine just wanted to play sports as usual. The clock read two fifty nine as everyone but Mr. Ratburn sat at his desk grading papers like he does usually, Binky from finally coming back the bathroom was chewing on the end of his pencil and staring up the clock like everyone else.

"Jeez, for a Monday it is pretty slow." Arthur thought to himself, throwing the stuff he needed from his desk into his book bag and zipping it back up. The clock finally struck three, the children raced out of the classroom and bolted outside.

Buster said his goodbyes and promised he'll bring something back from San Andreas for everyone. Arthur quickly raced home to beat his little sister; D.W. to the television set before she turns on Mary Moo Cow only to find out that she beat him, Arthur sighed and sat next his little sister not saying anything. Better to not say anything rude or it will just set off the other person that is what Arthur learned over the months from his sister. D.W. fiddled around with the remote controller trying to find anything she would like and drive her brother nuts and screaming from the room. For her luck nothing ever since she hasn't really heard the woman who did Mary Moo Cow got arrested for doing something awful.

"Just not the same without Mary Moo Cow." D.W. whined a little.

"Meh, stuff comes and goes on TV." Arthur said.

"But why Mary Moo Cow? What has she done?" D.W. Questioned.

"Uh. I guess she was getting old for television." Arthur tried his best to not say what happened in the news recently about her idol. "I remember her being on before you were even born practically, just guess she doesn't want to do shows anymore."

"Fine, but it's not like her to leave without telling her fans again." D.W. tried to argue but it felt like it wasn't going to do anything.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, seeing D.W. in her state and not wanting to make it worse than it already was Arthur got up from the couch and went to the front door. Opening the door Arthur looked to see it was a man around the same height as his father, same species, wearing a lot of black leather from his jacket, pants, boots, jacket was open to reveal a white shirt with a logo of a shadowed women with a circular object must meaning the sun. Arthur looked up to see the details of the man's face to see, he had blue eyes, a scar on his left cheek, blond chin hairs, his blondish and brunette mixed hair was pulled back into something like a tail. Noticing he did carry a file with him so must mean that he wasn't there to kill someone.

"Uh can I help you?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah uh. I was wondering if I had the right house, does a Jane Read live here?" The leathered man asked in a kind of gruff tone.

"Uh. Yeah why?" Arthur asked.

"She said she would help me with my taxes…" The leathered man replied. "So does she live here or not?"

"MOM!" Arthur hollered.

"What?" His mother replied while in the kitchen.

"Some guy wants to see you!" Arthur called back. Arthur's mother came out of the kitchen wearing her usual clothing but had yellow rubber gloves covering her hands and still soak and wet.

"Oh, hi Darien. I'm just finishing up some house work, can you wait in the family room for a minute I'll go and get everything set up in the kitchen." Jane instructed, the leathered man went into the family room and sat down next to D.W. who looked at him oddly.

"Hello!" D.W. greeted cheerfully.

"Um. Hi kid…" Darien replied trying to sound friendly.

"My name is D.W., what's your name mister creepy man?" D.W. asked curiously but not in a polite kind of way.

"My name is Darien, an old friend of your mother." Darien replied, cringing his face a little.

"Where'd you get that scar?" D.W. asked.

"Knife fight in prison. I sta… I uh, got into an accident that's all." He replied.

Meanwhile Buster was already with his father in their plane with the band they travel around with consisting of Mora, a bunny girl with short brunette hair and some reason likes to wear denim jackets and Carlos, a rather cliché person who likes to wear all the cool fashion, very tall, and shoulder length dark brown hair.

"So where are we heading this time?" Carlos asked while still sitting in the back lying on the white seat.

"Going to Los Santos of San Andreas. My uncle lives down there in the suburbs in a small neighborhood, pretty much going to be visiting him and staying with him for a night." Buster replied.

"Carlos I can't believe you forgot about the concert we're going to playing in Las Ventures, the Four-Dragons Casino remember?" Mora reminded her co-worker a little angrily while playing around with a red guitar.

"I heard a lot of bad things go down in Los Santos Buster. It's the place where that Mary Moo Cow thing was holding up a connivance story, got into a highway speed chase, then caught and beaten like an animal." Carlos explained while still lying down comfortably and closing his eyes. "Then uh. Shot a couple of times because she wouldn't give up without a fight. Then got into another speed chase, car exploded when she hit an oil truck at full speed. All they found left was the mask of the cow, saved it from being severally burned though"

"Carlos, what the hell kind of story is that to tell to a kid?" Mora shouted a little pissed.

"What? Just saying what happened, it's either tell him what happened or he's going to find out for himself how graphic the thing was." Carlos defended himself.

"How much blood?" Buster asked.

"Lots." Carlos replied.

"CARLOS!" Mora hissed.

"What?" Carlos asked innocently and shifting his shoulders.

A couple of hours later the plane landed at the Los Santos airport and did what was instructed by the operator on the transmitter. Landing safely and storing the plane in a huge locker hold where they could get it later, the crew didn't have a lot to bring but one or two suitcases each. Buster brought along his trusty camera and started video taping random things in the airport and anything else he found interesting, calling for a taxi Buster reunited with the crew and his father and got in taking them directly to uncle Johnny's house. Taking one look out the neighborhood Buster kind of remembered all the small buildings and cliché houses looking almost similar to each other depending on what neighborhood you lived in.

Finally making it to their destination something looked awfully wrong with the four police cars out in the front yard and driveway. Along with the yellow police tape of not crossing it, the taxi stopped on the opposite side of the road to let everyone off. Buster's father paid the driver but who was also curious decided to stay in the taxi. Buster and his father approached the house to see a police officer guarding the door looking bored.

"Sorry folks. Can't enter." The officer explained.

"What happened? Is my cousin Johnny alright?" Buster's father asked.

"I'm sorry sir. He's dea..." " Maybe you and your kid here should leave and go stay in a motel not to far from here and…" The door he was guarding opening to reveal another cop and leaving the door open where Buster was still videotaping with his camera the officer. Though Buster didn't quite catch onto what the first cop said, he was still interested of what was going on inside. There were at least five police officers along with a detective with cat features looking at the body. Covering it with a blanket trying to glance at the body and throwing it back not to try to be disgusted.

"Okay gentlemen we got ourselves a case here. After looking at the body we see a couple gunshot wounds and a foot long submarine sand wedge stuck in his mouth. What could this mean?" The detective asked.

"Uh… Something tells me it was the work of a gunman and shot the victim a couple of times before he could even take a bite out of the sand wedge." A duck-man suggested.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious Johnson." The detective added.

"Hey cool a sand wedge." Buster said, finding the sand wedge on the floor and taking a bite out of it. "Mm."

"Hey kid that's evidence!" A cop tried to point out and take the food away from the rabbit boy.

To be continued…

"What will become of Buster, his father, and the band while they stay in San Andreas? Who is the guy in the kitchen with Author's mom? Will Mr. Ratburn at least put some pants on? Find out next time!"

Note: Well that chapter is a little better than the last one. Not a lot of crude humor but it had some humor; I'll try to do my best with this because I do plan on more. Also if anyone didn't notice there were some San Andreas names used such as Los Santos. Oh yeah and about the band that hangs out with Buster, I might of not of gotten their names right so please someone come out and help say who they are.


	3. ch3

A Strange Adventure

By NocturneD III a.k.a. WINGZ

Note: Well the story you read before you has finally got a few people liking it, I'm surprised that I actually wrote about a cartoon meant for PBS and got some people to think it's great. How surprised I am indeed, this story is more likely going into random places though how I feel it should go. And as everyone is hearing if you don't like it then don't read it or review but with rules updated then I really can't stop you from reviewing but I would appreciate it that people would take it easy and not say that "**THIS STORY** **SUCKS!**" without any reason why it does. I do appreciate the honesty of the reviewers so far so please enjoy.

Arthur was getting a little freaked out because of the dangerous looking guy sitting down with his sister, looks like he could be a killer but with the past experiences with Arthur quickly judging things he tried to throw it out of his mind. Looking into the family room the aardvark child stood there in the doorway peaking in to see if the leathered suited man would try anything, every time he tried to think of something that the guy could possibly do he reminded himself that his mother approved of the guy coming in so he must not be that bad at all. D.W. kept egging the stranger on with various questions.

"You're lucky, your mom let's you grow your hair out to as long as you want it." D.W. chirped.

"Uh yeah, really I just haven't decided to get a hair cut. Not now that is." Darien replied, "For a little girl you sure do ask a lot of questions but can't blame you though." Just then Mrs. Read walks into the family room and takes one look around.

"Kids. How about you go out to a movie? It's going to take me awhile to help Darien with his taxes and I'm going to need absolute quiet." Mrs. Read asked, the children looked at her strangely but when she pulled out a couple of twenty dollar bills they were out of the house instantly with the money. They moved so fast Mrs. Read didn't even know the money from her hand was instantly taken from her, looking down her hand was empty. "Damn those kids move fast when you give them money" She thought to herself while Darien was a little amazed himself, he smirked and she looked at him. "Okay, let's go do your taxes."

Meanwhile as everyone was doing their own thing, Fern the dog girl was in tears while sitting on her bed. Knees cradling her chin, yet again feeling left out and miserable because of the other kids making fun of her again. She walks to her computer. turning it on and logging onto her screen name. The internet usually makes her feel better talking to her many email buddies, really since she hasn't got many friends around her area why not the World Wide Web? Plenty of people use it and can't really judge you of what you look like or act around people orally. Wiping her tears from her face she signs on and starts to check her email, sighing a little because she only received one thing worthy while everything else was junk.

"Piece of crap, crap, crap, something about Viagra, crap, a test to see if you're lazy or not, find your perfect mate…" Fern looked at the topic and clicked it off throwing it in the delete folder. "Junk, crap, porno, porno, see huge knockers, credit cards… Increase the size of my what?" Fern looked strangely, deleting it again. "See my best friend's mother naked?"

"Ah, an email from The Dark Valor" Fern checked the email.

"Dear Poetry Flower Girl, I'm doing the same as usual. My dad is a total slob like always, mother is a total bitch, and my whole family doesn't understand me. I just want to put them in a sack and beat them as they don't accept my way of life. Why should I obey their rules? I already have a hard time fitting in at school normally, but then Flower Girl I turned gothic. Yes that's right, gothic. Wearing all black to creep people out, can't say it did any better with my family but they learned to shut up around me because I scream at them back though it still seems rough there. I just hate my family, the kids at my school; I just want them to go away or at least accept my ways. Anything to make those idiots leave me alone." Fern read.

"How awful, but going gothic though? What does that solve?" Fern read on and pressed the reply button.

"Dear Dark Valor, I was thinking of going for a change too. I wish that everyone would leave me alone because they will pick on me because I like poetry but can't do well in sports. I just hate it, especially that Francine for her bossiness and Muffy for her snotty attitude, also Binky and his gang. I just want them to burn to death… What does it take to be a gothic kid? Is it hard? Will I be the same person as always? Signed, the Poetry Flower Girl" Fern wrote and clicked send. She then got an idea to look in her closet and look for something dark and laid it on the bed, so far she only had two black shirts with one button and the other a normal t-shirt. Looking for anything she mumbled to her unluckiness to find nothing else black.

"Nothing else black?" Fern looked through her closet thoroughly and closely to find nothing else, she cursed to herself then got an idea. "Mother?"

Meanwhile with Buster, his father, and the band that followed them around were still at Uncle Johnny's place. Buster still tried to eat the sand wedge but the officer stopped him from doing so and putting it in an evidence bag, Buster's father wasn't taking it so well seeing his overweight cousin lying down on the living room floor dead with a sand wedge still stuck in his mouth.

"Well, at least he died what the way he wanted to… Die eating sand wedges while wearing a Santa Claus outfit and watching the complete first season of 24 on DVD… that or being the fattest man alive." Buster's father tried to calm himself down looking at the body then at the television set still playing.

"I know, it's practically June already." The detective added in.

"That would explain why all his Christmas decorations are still up in the front yard." Mora also added. "And the scattered car parts all over the lawn."

"Not sure if this helps but… Ho, ho, ho." Carlos suggested.

"Uh dad, why is Uncle Johnny on the floor wearing a Santa costume?" Buster asked.

"Because he's dead son." His father answered looking at the dead body.

"Is he going to eat that?" Buster asked.

Twenty minutes later, one of the officers offers to drive the group to a nearby motel. Buster's father waved the offer and said he'll go stay in a hotel at Los Ventures, the detective gave them his number incase they ever felt like talking and might stop over with any clues to Uncle Johnny's killer, apparently this police force looked like a bunch of idiots to the average civilian's eye. Before getting into the taxi Buster showed his older friends Mora and Carlos around the house to show what fun he used to have. Carlos excused himself to use the bathroom and did only to find the toilet all junked up with someone else's business and forgot to flush and Carlos frowned and back to Buster and Mora.

"Okay I guess the guy was too lazy to flush too." Carlos said. Mora opened another door to reveal it was Uncle Johnny's room. The bedroom was filled with pizza boxes and porno magazines along with porno tapes scattered all over the room, Buster took a random magazine from the pile and looked at the cover.

"Wow. Hey Carlos, why are these girls only in their underwear?" Buster asked.

"Uh I don't know Buster." Carlos lied while stuffing as many porno magazines into his pants and shirt he could carry. "But it's dirty."

"Yeah, and put the magazines back Carlos. You don't know where they have been." Mora added.

"What's a fat dead guy going to need magazines anymore Mora?" Carlos asked a little frustrated.

"You know they don't belong to you." Mora argued.

"Fine." Carlos admitted defeat letting all the magazines slip out of his shirt and pant legs.

The three walk out of the room and back into the cramp hallway, nothing else seemed a little misplaced according to Buster. The three went outside to find Buster's dad waiting by the taxi for the three to come, Buster took a look at the car parked in the driveway that didn't look like a police car.

"Wow, that's Uncle Johnny's car. He made it himself doing the color and throwing on extra stuff like the roofing and seats." Buster observed.

"Yeah, this car must be built pretty strong to hold up all that bird crap." Carlos added while looking at the messy roof of the car, Mora looked like she was about to throw up to the sight of it. Buster and the crew got into the taxi and drove all the way to Las Ventures and got one room because of the expensive cost. Mora didn't feel comfortable sleeping in the same room with three guys but thanks to the cost she had to share.

"Hey dad, can we see the sites? I want to buy some souvenirs for my friends." Buster asked while looking through his pant pocket breaking out his wallet to find two hundred dollars worth of American money in it, thanks to his little upload he received money in return.

"Uh Buster can I ask you a question?" Buster father asked him in return. "Look at that billboard across the street. Does that woman look a little familiar to you?"

"Uh." Buster stuttered at looking at the billboard across the street to show his best friend's mother is on it in the shower and most of her body blurred out. "Not really why?"

"She kind of looks like your friend Arthur's mother I think." Buster's dad tried to examine it closer.

To be continued…

"Did Buster sell out his footage of Mrs. Read in the shower? Will Fern really go gothic? And what movie Arthur and D.W. go see? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!"

Well that was unexpected huh? Kind of like chapter one I believe but had a lot more sense to it, oh and if anyone is offended by this stuff so far just quit reading it okay. Don't want sore fans ruining it for other people. As with this chapter I think it has some potential and kind of less crude too.


	4. ch4

A Strange Adventure

By NocturneD III a.k.a. WINGZ

Note: The story is going along with a nice flow I must admit, people are really enjoying it but compared to my other stories in the past it's just a minor project. I still don't know where to take this story exactly because I'm in the midst of writing my own original story, another story for Megas XLR, and another for the anime crossover section that was put on hold for awhile. Really, I think I found a good place where people will appreciate my style of comedy.

Rated: Pg-13 (Language, fantasy violence, and adult references)

_Important note: I can respect the people who say they don't think this is funny but please everyone has their own unique style of what is funny. For people saying, "The character's aren't acting like they're supposed to!" well too bad, it's a story written by a person who wants to spice things up._

The next day, the daily cycle starts all over again with the children going to school. The children already in their seats and desks still waiting for their teacher Mr. Ratburn to come in his birthday suit, the children were talking as usual of what they did yesterday and want to do today after school. The door opened slightly to reveal it was Fern, only darker. The class turned to see the dog girl's new fashion as she walks in wearing an entirely new outfit with black steel toed boots, white and black striped stalking on one leg, then a plain red stalking on the other, a loose black skirt tangles from her waist to her knees, a completely black long sleeved shirt with skulls printed all over them. She changed her hair ribbon to a black one and went a little overboard with the black eye shadow around her eye area.

"Uh hello." Arthur greeted, Fern ignored him and sat down across from him.

"Man, wonder what made her wear all black?" Francine, the tomboyish monkey girl leaned to the girl next to another monkey girl with pigtails.

"That is so tacky… Black is just disgusting." Muffy replied, a little more than the people around her could hear. Fern heard it all right and simply shrugged it off but she gave Muffy a creepy ass smirk with her fist clenched.

"So Binky, how's your stomach feeling today?" Brain asked.

"Feels a little better today, but yesterday it was like I'm about to have something rip right out of my gut like in that alien movie. Thanks for the tip of eating fruit, made me go to the bathroom easier along with the stomach medicine my mom gave me." Binky thanked, just as he was about to pull his book out from his desk a piece of paper a slip of paper fell out and landed on the floor catching Brain's attention.

"What's this?" Brain picked up the paper to see there's a sketch on it.

"Oh uh, something I drew up while I was in bed last night." Binky tried to grab the slip of paper back from Brain.

"Wait Binky, this looks interesting. Oh wait, it's just you on a normal bike with some weird looking rockets on the back of it as you fly over a house." Brain observed, just then Binky snatched it back.

"It's just something I drew okay. Besides uh, what's that stuff called when you stick something in the back of your car and press a button blue fire comes out of it?" Binky asked. "You know, it's like those rockets from the movie "The Fast and the Furious"?"

"Nitrous Oxide?" Brain responded.

"Is that what it's called?" Binky asked again. "Because I was thinking have what if I put that stuff on the back of my bike?"

"Well, you would probably gain a lot of speed but it's not made for normal bikes. Think of it this way Binky. You stick something the power of a missile on the back of your bike, you will be launched at an incredible speed to fast to count maybe even crash into something at a fast rate and chances of injury are just too high." Brain explained. "Even for a big kid like you Binky, your bones will be crushed and you'd lose a lot of blood of let's say you crash right into a truck or a brick wall."

"Oh. Then what about I attached some powerful fireworks to my bike?" Binky asked.

"I don't know really. Judging on what type of fireworks you get and how much you weigh could end disastrous too. You might suffer 3rd degree burns if you stick them just anywhere or possibly blow off your body parts." Brain replied.

"Uh okay then, what if you come by my house later this afternoon and see what we can do to make my bike faster?" Binky asked.

"Why can't you just peddle faster?" Brain asked already taking out his materials to begin the class work.

"Too lazy." Binky replied while sitting further back into his chair and yawning. Meanwhile Mr. Ratburn still in his birthday suit finally comes into class but doesn't look very thrilled to be there at all.

"Children, I have some terrible news about our principal Mr. Haney." Mr. Ratburn, looking down at the floor, taking a deep breath then looking back up at the children, "Mr. Haney has passed on to a better life… I'm sorry children; you can take this day as a free day if you want. I just don't feel like teaching at all today and not feeling well either."

"Can we go home then?" Binky asked.

"Yeah sure, whatever." Mr. Ratburn didn't care but feeling a little remorse. With that the children all got up and raced out of the classroom leaving only empty chairs and desks.

Meanwhile with Buster, he was a little disturbed due to the oversized billboard across the street hanging off the opposite building of Mrs. Read blurred, his stomach went numb and nervous as he could ever be. He just couldn't believe the website he submitted the video would actually post this stuff on billboards advertising their web page, it's just sick to him.

"Wow, she's hot." Carlos observed, cupping his own chin and rubbing it.

"Uh right." Buster replied, looking at his camera for a minute then throwing it back into the bag. Just then Buster's father; Bo walks into the hotel room trying to keep a straight face.

"Well I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that we can stay a couple of more days here and look at the sites, the bad news is that I got to go down the police station to be questioned on how I know Uncle Johnny. That means the police has to keep me updated from time to time if they find anything new." Bo explained, looking at Buster who seemed kind of down.

"I wished uncle Johnny didn't die dad." Buster replied.

"I wish he hadn't either Buster." Bo answered back. "But life happens that way."

"I'm pretty sure you want to start exploring huh?" Bo asked.

Meanwhile at the Sugar Bowl, Arthur and his friend Francine were eating ice cream alone at one of the tables while Grandma Thora and D.W. were playing the new arcade game in the corner. Arthur ordered a sundae as well as Francine, they ate and then Francine asked.

"Hey Arthur. Do you really think Mr. Haney died?" Francine questioned.

"I don't really know, passing on could mean a lot of things these days. Like he moved away or something." Arthur replied. "Not just being dead."

"Grandma, this game has a lot of fighting in it." D.W. observed, "What's the game called again?"

"Oh sweetie, it says… Mortal Kombat II on the label. Hmm, strange name I say." Grandma Thora read, "But it sure is fun!"

"Grandma, your guy just ripped off my girl's head and burned up her body!" D.W. chirped as she first saw the fatality.

"Wow… Uh now that the game is over why don't we get some ice cream shall we?" Thora asked her grand daughter. "Oh just a minute sweet, take this five dollar bill and ask the nice lady what you want, I think I forgot something." Thora gave her grand daughter the money and as soon as D.W.'s back was turned Grandma Thora put in another quarter to play another round of Mortal Kombat II this time choosing the yellow ninja; Scorpion. "That's right grandma is back for another round."

Meanwhile with Brain at Binky's house playing around with the idea to make his bike go faster by attaching fireworks to the end of it. Binky suggested a lot of ideas but with Brain's response they sounded like it could end up in failure, Binky a little frustrated with most of his ideas shot down he went into his garage with the Brain following him. Binky pulled out a box and opened it to reveal two large rockets.

"My dad was saving these for the fourth of July, says it could blow off the entire top part of your body if you hold it." Binky smiled as he held one of the rockets.

"Binky for the last time… Hey are those the Flying Hawaiian Rockets? Those could shoot up into the air at an incredible speed." Brain replied looking at the rockets in the box. "Wait you don't think?"

"Well that's my last question before you knock it down like all the others." Binky replied putting the rocket back into the box.

"Binky wait, maybe this could work after all." Brain smiled then Binky as well. The two didn't question it and duck taped the rockets on the end of the bike making sure the flames wouldn't touch whoever was riding it. Brain adjusted the wooden ramp they made a couple of weeks ago down the road, Binky wanted to sit on it but Brain then came up with a theory since he was a little heavy he wouldn't get the fast result. Brain volunteers and saddles his helmet on his head and ties it, Binky was given a couple of matches and was ordered to light them at the same time.

"Ready? Set… LIGHT IT!" Brain commanded, with that Binky lit the two rockets and Brain started peddling with the fuses running low before the flame reaches the inside of the rocket. Sparkling a bright bluish color from both rockets Brain could feel a slight increase in speed with the fireworks screaming. Closer and closer Brain raced to the wooden ramp until suddenly the rockets exploded making the bike jump about five feet into the air and started doing twenty flips and fell of his seat landing on the sidewalk and started rolling down the grassy hill uncontrollably, Brain shouted in pain each time his body hit a bump in the ground and finally he hit his claimed protected head into a big tree. The Brain was knocked out completely but along the fall he managed to attain a few cuts and bruises.

"Uh oh." Binky said.

Meanwhile back with Buster and his father taking a tour of Las Ventures on a tour bus along with their friends Carlos and Mora. Pretty much a boring tour as the tour guide kept pointing out useless things like…

"And if you take a look to your left you'll see some dog crap someone forgot to pick up. To your right, you'll see the ugliest looking person ever. Back to your left you'll see Paris Hilton passed out on the sidewalk from a hardcore party last night. Oh again to the right you'll see where my best friend directs porn." The tour guide said into intercom while Buster took pictures of the unconscious Paris Hilton.

"Man, what tour bus did we get on?" Mora asked. "Everywhere we've been has porn to it."

"Yeah porn is good." Carlos replied looking at the knocked out Paris Hilton. "Man she is wasted."

"And if you look to your right again you see a movie being recorded starring Hillary Duff in her new movie "Unicorn Princess" also starring Whoopee Goldberg as her fairy godmother." The tour guide said into the intercom, with that everyone starting throwing things out of the bus window at the movie set.

"Hilary Duff sucks!" Buster shouted. "All of her movies are terrible and practically the same thing!"

"BOO!" The tourists yelled at the set.

To be continued…

Note: Well that chapter was a tad weak compared to the others but I promise the next chapter will be better. Oh and if anyone is asking why is D.W. not in school well I made her in the afternoon class of preschool so she goes later if anyone wanted to know, pretty much a useless piece of info really. And yes, Grandma Thora is addicted to Mortal Kombat II. And for the part with the Brain, kind of not what I wanted him to do to lose his memory but I think him getting hit in the head with a bat would be a little cruel. Oh and the anti-Hillary Duff segment, I really wanted to put that it somehow but in this chapter it sort of didn't turn out like I wanted to, but Paris Hilton yeah pretty much everyone makes fun of her too.


	5. ch5

A Strange Adventure

By NocturneD III a.k.a. WINGZ

Note: Well I hate to do this people but there are things outside the fanfiction world that has to be done and apparently life is drag with college and crap. Really, I should be still updating these small stories but not as much, at least once or twice a week depending on the work or if I decide to goof off and write these. But the story has to end to make more stories or unless I continue off with another series on the same story. Like the second series added onto this story but really I would feel a little cheap if I did that.

Pg-13 (language and adult references)

As the day dragged on for Arthur of nothing but playing baseball with his friends in the perfect weather he decided to go home and watch television. But debating with himself as if he did go home D.W. would be there hogging it watching some show with a giant animal or stay where he's at but wander around alone while everyone else had to go home for dinner. He was getting hungry by the way so he decided to go home.

It only took him about twenty minutes to get home. He entered to see no one in the living room watching the TV set, taking his chance he went for it clicking on his new favorite show "Inuvasha" but taking caution when its going to get good someone is just going to barge in here and demand the TV mostly his little sister.

While watching four minutes of the show and getting himself an apple to eat before dinner he noticed there was no DW of coarse, but his father no where in sight either, not even baby Kate crying over something, but he did hear some creaking sounds coming from upstairs. He tried to ignore it but the squeaking was getting louder by the minute and faster too, along with the sounds of someone moaning and yelling.

"OH GOD YES!" screamed a voice from upstairs, this time Arthur could hear it perfectly though it was questionable to a curious nine-year old boy.

"What the heck?" Arthur thought, but continued watching his show.

"OH GOD YES! GIVE ME MORE! OH GOD! OH GOD!" screamed the voice again. This was distracting Arthur from his show as he finished his apple then threw it in the trashcan. Maybe it's a good time to investigate.

"Maybe someone is in trouble?" Arthur thought as he started to climb the stairs he could still hear the moaning but this time it was coming from his parents' room, he quietly tip toed and looked into the keyhole underneath the doorknob. There he saw his mother completely naked doing something with a naked man on the bed but did not look anything like his father, that's when Arthur leaned a little further until he accidentally flung the door open thanks to his weight as he landed on his hands and knees then looking at the man that was doing something with his mom, it turned out to be the person who visited them yesterday. Arthur tried to remember his name but couldn't quite make it out, he just called out.

"Mom?" Arthur asked, the two on the bed stopped what they were doing and looked at the eight year old with his mouth opened in shock.

"Arthur it's not what it looks like!" His mother Jane tried to assure her son who was still in shock and cover herself up with the blanket. "Damn it I thought I locked the door."

"Yeah that door never really locks though." Arthur was distracted by the question but snaps back into the real reason why he's shocked. "How can you do this to dad?"

"Well, your father is really gay." Jane told her son.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"Well, technically he's not even your real father either." Jane replied. "Darien here is."

"What about DW and Kate?" Arthur asked still in a panic tone.

"Well… DW, as far as I know is that Pickles the clown is her father and Kate… well I got drunk one night and got a cab driver to drive me home and… one thing lead to another…" Jane tried to explain.

"My whole life is a lie!" Arthur cried.

"Yeah pretty much kid." Darien said not bothering to cover himself, just then Pickles the clown comes out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a bath towel around his waist and his big shoes.

"Oh crap the kid is here." The clown said looking at Arthur.

"Pickles the clown?" Arthur questioned.

"Guess he figured it out huh?" The clown said.

"Afraid so." Jane replied still with the bed sheet around her naked body. Just then Arthur shrugged it off.

"This is too confusing, I'm going to go downstairs and watch InuVasha." Arthur said in an uncaring tone then left the room.

Meanwhile in Los Ventures Carlos was driving a hijacked car he stole earlier along with Bo in the passenger seat and Mora and Buster in the back seat. The car was going at an incredible speed down the freeway trying to avoid other cars while being chased by a herd of black gangster cars. Carlos made a lot of suicidal looking turns but did an excellent job dodging the raid of bullets aimed towards them. Buster took out a 9mm handgun and started shooting back at the gangsters that were chasing them.

"This is for shooting at me earlier!" Buster hollered firing off his own gun.

"Hold on to your Asses everyone! I'm going to try to make this jump!" Carlos shouted.

"No Carlos that's too far!" Bo shouted back.

"I have to try!" Carlos replied flooring the gas pedal with his foot.

"Carlos use the…" Mora tried to say but was cut off.

"The force? Use the force?" Carlos interrupted.

"No the nitrous oxide!" Mora pointed out.

"Oh yeah." Carlos thought, pushing the button on the steering wheel as suddenly blue flames start to shoot out from the exhaust pipes and push the car at a higher performance of speed. Carlos aimed towards a ramp at the end of the road, flooring it again he immediately reaches the ramp and flies off into the air with everyone in the car screaming.

"Just like the Dukes of Hazard!" Buster pointed out then went back to screaming.

Just then… the car exploded for no apparent reason while in midair… and nothing was left…

The end…

Note: Well that was an unexpected ending; to tell the truth I wanted to end this early but really not with this ending as it seem unexpected. But yet again it's a random story, hope you all forgive me but look forward to my other "ASA" titles as the sequel ASA 2: Dawn of the Dead will feature an all new storyline… with zombies!

And what happened to Fern and Brain? Well, it's up to you to figure that out.

Nah I'm just kidding, here's the real ending…

It was another normal day at the Read house with everything normal inside happening with DW bothering her older brother, Arthur trying to leave, Kate just wandering around with Pal who is eating something off the floor, while Mr. Read is baking something, and Mrs. Read busy on her computer doing her accounting.

"Mom, Arthur won't play with me!" DW complained.

"Mommy's busy, go ask your father." Jane waved her daughter away. DW wanders off into the living room and sits down on the couch next to a big fat clown.

"Dad, Arthur won't play with me." DW whined.

"I don't freaking care." The clown belched after drinking his eighth can of beer, crumpling up the can and throwing it on the floor. Dave Read came buy wearing a French maid costume and looked at the mess.

"Like, oh my goodness. Do you have to make such a huge mess in the living room?" Dave squalled at the clown.

"Do you have to wear that uniform?" The clown replied with another question and opens his ninth can of beer. Just then there was a knock at the door, Arthur answered it and it turned out to be Buster.

"Hey Buster. How was San Andreas?" Arthur asked.

"Meh, interesting. Learned how to fire a pistol gangster style, had sex with a couple of hookers to help my health go back up, crashed a couple of cars, got chased by the cops, FBI, and the army. Smoked some crack too and it was good." Buster explained then holds up a big bag of a white sand substance. "I still have some left."

"Buster, you know what this means?" Arthur smiled at the big bag of crack.

"Yeah." Buster replied.

"PARTY TIME!" The two said in unison for the whole neighborhood to hear it.

A few minutes have passed and everyone in Elwood City is inside of Arthur's house having a crack party and doing some wild things. Francine dives off the top of the staircase and breaks her arm; someone hit Muffy in the face with a baseball bat and blood sprayed everywhere and apparently no one cared. Mr. Ratburn was still a nudist and doing some weird dances bearing all, Mr. Haney turned out that he wasn't dead at all but went into hiding and he starts drinking a lot of booze then passes out, Buster started video taping everything going on as Mrs. Read and Mora make out with each other, the rabbit boy mostly taped this. Mr. Read wore some leather pants and dressed up like the biker guy from the village people, Carlos also drank so much alcohol he started vomiting on DW who was also vomiting on Pal who was also vomiting on the passed out Pickles the clown. The Brain was wandering around outside wondering where he is while Binky was mooning every car who was passing by Arthur's house, Fern pretty much didn't do anything because she stayed outside, Grandma Thora dressed up as the yellow ninja Scorpion and starting mass murdering everyone at the party with her new acquired skills… and stole what remains of the cocaine… and Buster's camera…

GRANDMA THORA WINS!

FLAWLESS VICTORY!

FATALITY!

The end… for real…

Well there's the real end, probably would of wished I left it at where the car blew up right? Well, stay tuned to the sequel, I promise it will be random as this!


End file.
